Or perhaps you ignored the counsel and dismissed the significance of this difference between you and your fiancé and took the plunge. 

In any case, living with an unbelieving spouse can be extremely difficult.  I’d like to share some thoughts from God’s word to equip and encourage you who are dealing with this. 

This does not nullify the covenant you made in marriage.  As hard as it is, God has asked us to remain in the covenant. 

“But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.”‭‭ ~ 1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:12-13

This is a tall order and requires dependence on Him for strength to endure. 

It is not your job to “convert” him/her. As much as you’d like to be the one to lead them to Christ, this expectation often ends more in an argument or pushing your spouse away from God and away from you. Remember God has this!

“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.” ~ John‬ ‭6:44‬ ‭NASB‬‬

He hears your cry and has made provision on account of you and has given you a special role in your relationship. 

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband…”.        

~ ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:14‬a,b ‭NASB‬

So now the practical. What actions do I take in my role then?  Here are 4 actions you can take:

PRAY – It may sound like a cop out and you may want to say, “I have already prayed!”, but remember, these are war prayers.  The war we are facing will last our lifetime.  We must never give up praying. For His word has promised us:

“…The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” ~ James‬ ‭5:16‬b NASB‬‬

If you trust Christ as your Savior, you are made righteous in Him.  Your prayers are filled with His power. You cannot underestimate the results when that power is unleashed.  By faith offer these prayers of war against the enemy who holds your spouse captive. 

LOVE & RESPECT – Do not let your spouse’s disbelief squash the love you desire for them to know. Scripture gives husbands and wives this guide:

“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”

 ~ ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:33‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Notice nagging is not mentioned.  Wives desire love and husbands respect. For more in depth study on this love and respect principle, check out this book by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. 

BEHAVIOR – While you can’t control another person’s actions, you can control your own. In fact, your actions will have a greater impact on them than you might think.  

 “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,”

~ ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:1‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Again notice, no nagging mentioned. Your behavior is key. Will you feel like you are not being heard? Perhaps, but God is faithful and His promises are true.  Delight in His word and follow his guidance that His love may pour forth through your actions!

CONNECTION – Your spouse is your partner for life.  Not only will you need to invest I. Him/her, You will also need to nurture your relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ.  This takes a careful balance. You must not neglect your spouse nor cut yourself off from the body of Christ.  We all need the encouragement to press on in the battles we are facing.  Do your best to find balance.  
It’s important to note that if there is any type of abuse going on(verbal,physical, or sexual), you must get to safety and get help.  You can connect with local chapter for domestic violence or get help from the national center. Allow your closest brothers/sisters in Christ in to walk with you through this. Any kind of buse is a difficult road not meant to be walked alone. 

Reflection

Are you believing that God can/will answer your prayer?

Are you asking God for the power to truly love/respect your spouse? 

Are you truly seeking to love/respect your spouse?

Are your actions pure and reverent toward God, your spouse, and others?

If you answered no to any of these questions, confess to God and ask for restoration and the power to overcome these obstacles in your battles. 

Prayer

Father, You are our Provider.  I lift to You, those that are facing this battle today on behalf of an unbelieving spouse. May You give them faith to press on, trusting a you will draw their spouse to you.  Help them to Pray, Love, Respect, and Take Action according to Your Word.   We pray for strongholds to be broken and the floodgates to open on unequally yoked marriages across the globe.  May Your Spirit have its way in the hearts of these spouses for You and for Your glory, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

Immorality, impurity are set against the perfect plan of God.  It includes anything sexually that is not Gods’s design as part of marriage as described in Genesis.  Hebrews 13:4 further clarifies there is the marriage bed which is to be honored and then everything else which is to be judged.  Notice the word “greed” is present with the first two words.  It means to desire after something which is not yours.  Sexually speaking, anything other than marriage was not given to us, marriage was.  

Let me interject that sadly, I spent my early years not knowing this and then having a hard time believing it once I heard it.  After enough damage was done I finally saw God’s best was His design for marriage. 

This is a tough passage in this day an age when the media presses us that when we disagree, hate must be present.  Some will read this and make a quick decision to quit reading and place a label on me of bigot, homophobe, or hater on me. I encourage you to read on. 

The sin mentioned above is like all other sin, in that,  satan has given us a plethora of counterfeit options that look better than God’s design and make grand promises of comfort, peace, and freedom when in reality they leave us feeling abandoned, ashamed and in bondage.  

The difference with sexual sin that it is connected with the most powerful intimacy available on the planet.  It is not only an amazing physical experience but a spiritual one.  Our sexual relationship with our wives or husbands is to reflect the spiritual relationship God has with us.  It is not to be one of self-centered lust and greed, but one of God-centered love and grace. 

So what is one of our brothers or sisters who struggles with same sex attraction supposed to do given this information and what should our response be? They same as all of us when we are outside the design of God. They are to look to Him and His design, and obey.  Our response should be to love everyone as you love yourself.   Not look down, not shame, love.  Given the number of negative sexual encounters that happen in this society, we should not be shocked in the place we find ourselves.  

Personal Reflection

What areas of your life are not in obedience to God?  Are you fighting to obey in those areas regardless of how strong they are and how your peer group/culture feels about them?   God loved us beyond our obedience. Are you doing the same with those around you or are you conditionally loving based on their performance?   Read Romans 5:8 and take time today meditating on Gods loves for you.  Pray specifically for those in for life that are hard for you to love. 

Prayer Focus

Heavenly Father, we desire to obey you in our spirit, yet our flesh is weak.  Help us to be honest with ourselves and to see any area of our life that needs to come in line with your design; especially those that are sexual in nature.    Let love bring us to a place of obedience to bring you honor and glory.  Teach us to love those around us wherever they may be at right now with you. In Jesus Name, Amen!

#Godsdesignformarriage #GodsBest #truthtalk4life

@brianfriedl

Immorality, impurity are set against the perfect plan of God.  It includes anything sexually that is not Gods’s design as part of marriage as described in Genesis.  Hebrews 13:4 further clarifies there is the marriage bed which is to be honored and then everything else which is to be judged.  Notice the word “greed” is present with the first two words.  It means to desire after something which is not yours.  Sexually speaking, anything other than marriage was not given to us, marriage was.  

Let me interject that sadly, I spent my early years not knowing this and then having a hard time believing it once I heard it.  After enough damage was done I finally saw God’s best was Gis design for marriage. 

This is a tough passage in this day an age when the media presses us that when we disagree, hate must be present.  Some will read this and make a quick decision to quit reading and place a label on me of bigot, homophobe, or hater on me. I encourage you to read on. 

The sin mentioned above is like all other sin, in that,  satan has given us a plethora of counterfeit options that look better than God’s design and make grand promises of comfort, peace, and freedom when in reality they leave us feeling abandoned, ashamed and in bondage.  

The difference with sexual sin that it is connected with the most powerful intimacy available on the planet.  It is not only an amazing physical experience but a spiritual one.  Our sexual relationship with our wives or husbands is to reflect the spiritual relationship God has with us.  It is not to be one of self-centered lust and greed, but one of God-centered love and grace. 

So what is one of our brothers or sisters who struggles with same sex attraction supposed to do given this information and what should our response be? They same as all of us when we are outside the design of God. They are to look to Him and His design, and obey.  Our response should be to love everyone as you love yourself.   Not look down, not shame, love.  Given the number of negative sexual encounters that happen in this society, we should not be shocked in the place we find ourselves.  

Personal Reflection

What areas of your life are not in obedience to God?  Are you fighting to obey in those areas regardless of how strong they are and how your peer group/culture feels about them?   God loved us beyond our obedience. Are you doing the same with those around you or are you conditionally loving based on their performance?   Read Romans 5:8 and take time today meditating on Gods loves for you.  Pray specifically for those in for life that are hard for you to love. 

Prayer Focus

Heavenly Father, we desire to obey you in our spirit, yet our flesh is weak.  Help us to be honest with ourselves and to see any area of our life that needs to come in line with your design; especially those that are sexual in nature.    Let love bring us to a place of obedience to bring you honor and glory.  Teach us to love those around us wherever they may be at right now with you. In Jesus Name, Amen!

#Godsdesignformarriage #GodsBest #truthtalk4life

@brianfriedl