Maybe the two of you had an amazing honeymoon and years of marriage under your belt and then one of you came to trust Jesus as your Savior and now everything seems different.
Or perhaps you ignored the counsel and dismissed the significance of this difference between you and your fiancé and took the plunge.
In any case, living with an unbelieving spouse can be extremely difficult. I’d like to share some thoughts from God’s word to equip and encourage you who are dealing with this.
This does not nullify the covenant you made in marriage. As hard as it is, God has asked us to remain in the covenant.
“But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away.” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:12-13
This is a tall order and requires dependence on Him for strength to endure.
It is not your job to “convert” him/her. As much as you’d like to be the one to lead them to Christ, this expectation often ends more in an argument or pushing your spouse away from God and away from you. Remember God has this!
“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.” ~ John 6:44 NASB
He hears your cry and has made provision on account of you and has given you a special role in your relationship.
“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband…”.
~ 1 Corinthians 7:14a,b NASB
So now the practical. What actions do I take in my role then? Here are 4 actions you can take:
PRAY – It may sound like a cop out and you may want to say, “I have already prayed!”, but remember, these are war prayers. The war we are facing will last our lifetime. We must never give up praying. For His word has promised us:
“…The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” ~ James 5:16b NASB
If you trust Christ as your Savior, you are made righteous in Him. Your prayers are filled with His power. You cannot underestimate the results when that power is unleashed. By faith offer these prayers of war against the enemy who holds your spouse captive.
LOVE & RESPECT – Do not let your spouse’s disbelief squash the love you desire for them to know. Scripture gives husbands and wives this guide:
“Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
~ Ephesians 5:33 NASB
Notice nagging is not mentioned. Wives desire love and husbands respect. For more in depth study on this love and respect principle, check out this book by Dr Emerson Eggerichs.
BEHAVIOR – While you can’t control another person’s actions, you can control your own. In fact, your actions will have a greater impact on them than you might think.
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,”
~ 1 Peter 3:1 NASB
Again notice, no nagging mentioned. Your behavior is key. Will you feel like you are not being heard? Perhaps, but God is faithful and His promises are true. Delight in His word and follow his guidance that His love may pour forth through your actions!
CONNECTION – Your spouse is your partner for life. Not only will you need to invest I. Him/her, You will also need to nurture your relationships with your brothers and sisters in Christ. This takes a careful balance. You must not neglect your spouse nor cut yourself off from the body of Christ. We all need the encouragement to press on in the battles we are facing. Do your best to find balance.
It’s important to note that if there is any type of abuse going on(verbal,physical, or sexual), you must get to safety and get help. You can connect with local chapter for domestic violence or get help from the national center. Allow your closest brothers/sisters in Christ in to walk with you through this. Any kind of buse is a difficult road not meant to be walked alone.
Reflection
Are you believing that God can/will answer your prayer?
Are you asking God for the power to truly love/respect your spouse?
Are you truly seeking to love/respect your spouse?
Are your actions pure and reverent toward God, your spouse, and others?
If you answered no to any of these questions, confess to God and ask for restoration and the power to overcome these obstacles in your battles.
Prayer
Father, You are our Provider. I lift to You, those that are facing this battle today on behalf of an unbelieving spouse. May You give them faith to press on, trusting a you will draw their spouse to you. Help them to Pray, Love, Respect, and Take Action according to Your Word. We pray for strongholds to be broken and the floodgates to open on unequally yoked marriages across the globe. May Your Spirit have its way in the hearts of these spouses for You and for Your glory, in Jesus’ name, Amen!